Imagine the joy of finding the love of your life, an exciting romantic connection, or a rewarding friendship when you feel at your worst. You had a hellish day at work the day before, you feel like you have not slept a wink, your skin would be a discovery trip for a dermatologist, and a crow would love to nestle in your hair. You feel tired and drained and your self-esteem is at an all-time low. You long for someone special to share your life with, but right now you feel like even Quasimodo would not consider you as a romantic option. How is it possible to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right in this moment of self-destruction? By taking advantage of online dating, of course.
Helen is 38 and works in a prestigious law firm. Since the tragic and untimely death of her husband five years ago, her dating record has been poor. Although most of Helen's work colleagues are male, she says, "Most of them are married, and even if they were available, I would not be interested. I also do not think I could handle a relationship with someone in the legal field. I imagine it would be very difficult for us to leave our jobs behind. Where in society can you meet like-minded men who are really interested in a relationship and not just a one-night stand?
Helen went on to say that she met her late husband while in university and during the many content years of their marriage, she had a rather narrow-minded view of dating agencies. "I viewed them with suspicion and assumed they were sought out by people who either had major personal weaknesses or a shady motive. I never thought about how difficult it is these days to find a suitable partner in a normal setting. Of course, about two years after Harry's death, when I began to think about not wanting to spend the rest of my life alone, I realised that meeting other people was not so easy. Clubs and pubs did not really appeal to me. I tried going to wine bars with friends, but found that I mostly received unwanted attention there from men I had no interest in. It was also obvious that most of them were just out for a quick thrill.
Helen soon began to look at dating agencies as an attractive option, but the idea of being matched with someone by computer did not really appeal to her. After all, it took the personal decision away from her, and she made it clear that she was not one of those people who liked to be told what to do! Her decision to try online dating as an alternative came while she was waiting for a dentist appointment.
"In the waiting room, I came across an article about online dating while looking through the obligatory stack of well-thumbed women's magazines. The article must have been particularly well written, because I was immediately sold on the idea. The concept of browsing a database of potential partners while still in my robe was extremely enticing. At least I knew that if I got dressed up, I would have a date instead of going to great lengths to prepare for an evening at a club where I was guaranteed not to meet anyone. After my date, I could not wait to get home and check out some of the recommended websites.
Helen spent a lot of time browsing the numerous online dating sites before finding one that she felt met her needs, which of course included a certain level of security.
"I was not particularly attracted to totally free sites because I felt they were more likely to attract members who were not particularly serious or whose intentions were not entirely honourable. I was more interested in sites where you could view profiles but had to pay for a full membership before you could contact other members. That way, I knew that the people I was contacting were probably serious about meeting someone and not just looking for a quick fling. I wanted to sign up with a site where I felt completely safe and could also be sure that none of my personal contact information would be shared unless I specifically chose to do so. I also liked sites better that offered a range of relationship advice and articles.
Helen eventually signed up at www.DatingHappy.com and says it was one of the best decisions she ever made.
"At first I was a little embarrassed to admit to even my closest friends that I had decided to go this route, but when I did, I was amazed at how many of them had also considered doing the same. One of my friends, who I assumed had met her husband at the gym, admitted that she had actually met him through an online message forum. It was not the same as a dating service, but it was basically no different. She had found someone with whom she shared common interests, but whom she had not met in person before, and that's exactly how it was.
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